Are you familiar with that pesky little voice that questions if you’re good enough, especially when opportunities knock? If you are, welcome to the club. Probably not to your surprise, but one of the most researched questions in 2023, regarding mental health, is “Am I good enough?” So why is it that many people start questioning themselves and what can we do about it?
Some of the reasons why we tend to self-sabotage and conclude by questioning ourselves and mistrusting our inner voice are:
- Comparison Trap: Thanks to social media, it’s easy to think everyone’s doing better.
- Fear of Failing: Fear can be a great protector but can also hold you back.
- Imposter Syndrome: This is when you feel like you’re faking your way through achievements.
As a result, some people tend to overthink and/or overwork, both in their careers and relationships, just to prove that they are worthy enough, which in turn can lead to burnout. Therefore, this can lead to a loop that can make things worse. So, what is the solution?
Firstly, remember that on social media, people are sharing their highlights and successes, not their struggles. Thus, as a third person, remind yourself that what you see is just a piece of the cake, not the whole cake. Regarding the fear of failing, remind yourself that this is part of the process since failing can teach you ways to approach things differently.
For imposter syndrome, just tell yourself that you’ve earned your spot at the table. Not everyone follows the same steps at the same pace and convenience. Therefore, if you are doing the best of your capability, then you are in the right spot at the right time. One of the exercises that I like to do with my clients is to have them evaluate their skills so that they have a good estimation of themselves how well they are using their skills and where there is room for improvement.
One of the gazillion pieces of advice that I received from my mentor was that the quality of the question will give you a reciprocal quality of the answer. So the moral of the story is to be careful in how you question things because the right question can give you the right answer. Therefore, next time you question yourself, take a deep breath and refresh your memory of when you were free of any emotional restrictions and you used to do things just for the sake of doing them. Then, evaluate accordingly if the question “Am I good enough?” will help you reach your goal.
If you find yourself repeatedly rejecting opportunities due to overwhelming self-doubt or fear of moving forward, it might be time to talk it out. Remember, seeking therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s about taking control of your narrative and crafting a story where self-doubt is just a chapter, not the whole book.