Picture this: you’re in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even a family setting, and something feels off. These feelings are a result of you finding yourself questioning your sanity and doubting your own reality and your memory and emotions. Probably, what you may be experiencing is gaslighting.

Gaslighting is like having someone flicker the lights of your mind. It’s a manipulative technique where someone tries to make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, and memories. They may twist facts, deny events, or even blatantly lie, all to gain power and control over you.

The term “gaslighting” originated from a play titled “Gas Light,” written by Patrick Hamilton in 1938. The play was later adapted into two films, one in 1940 and another in 1944. The story revolves around a husband who gradually manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by dimming the gas lights in their house and then denying that the light levels have changed when she questions it.

Here are some of the gaslighting tactics:

1. Denial: When the other person denies any previous discussions, making you question your memory and perception of events.
2. Discrediting: When the other person subtly implies that your memory is unreliable, creating doubt within you and telling you, you are overreacting.
3. Isolation: By denying the existence of what was discussed, the other person isolates you from your friends, making you doubt the validity of your social connections and reality.

What to do when you’ve been gaslighted:

Step 1:

Awareness is key to identifying gaslighting tactics. Pay close attention to your own feelings. Are you constantly second-guessing yourself? Do you feel confused or anxious after interactions with this person? You can break free from this manipulation by acknowledging the signs—denial, distortion of facts, discrediting your experiences, and fostering self-doubt.

Step 2:

Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate your needs assertively. Gaslighters thrive on controlling and undermining your autonomy, so defining your limits helps protect your sense of self.

Step 3:

Practice self-care: Nurture your mental and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with supportive people. Self-care strengthens your resilience and self-confidence.

Step 4:

Consider professional help: If you find it challenging to cope or if the gaslighting intensifies, seeking therapy or counselling can provide invaluable guidance and healing.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Gaslighting can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. By recognizing the signs, setting your boundaries, and implementing self-care strategies, you can break free from the gaslighter’s hold and reclaim your own truth.