Decoding the Ghosting Phenomenon and Finding Closure

Let me start with a common example with which you may be familiar. Today’s protagonists for the sake of the article are Jamie and Alex.

Jamie and Alex hit it off on a dating app, exchanged messages, and even went on a few amazing dates. But just as things were getting exciting, Alex gradually started pulling away. Texts went unanswered, calls were ignored, and plans were canceled without any explanation. Jamie was left wondering if they had said or done something wrong.

The above case is one of the gazillion cases that someone may be experiencing when they have been ghosted. Ghosting is like being left in a haunted house of uncertainty. It’s when someone you’ve been talking to or dating suddenly vanishes into thin air. No explanations, no closure — just an eerie silence that can leave you feeling abandoned and questioning your worth.

More specifically, in psychology, ghosting refers to the act of abruptly and intentionally cutting off all communication and contact with someone without any explanation or warning. It often occurs in interpersonal relationships, particularly in the context of dating or friendships, where one person suddenly disappears from the other person’s life, effectively becoming a “ghost.”

The term “ghosting” originated in the context of dating and was popularized in the early 2000s with the rise of online dating and digital communication. It is believed to have originated from the phrase “to ghost someone” or “ghosting someone,” which initially referred to the act of disappearing or vanishing without a trace, similar to how a ghost would seemingly vanish into thin air.

As technology and online communication became more prevalent, ghosting expanded beyond dating and began to be used to describe similar behaviors in friendships and professional relationships. The term gained significant recognition and entered mainstream conversation due to its relatability and the shared experience of being abruptly ignored or rejected without explanation.

What to Do When Ghosted?

  1. Seek Support: Reach out to your trusted friends or family members who can offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Sharing your experience with others can provide validation and help you gain a fresh perspective.
  2. Resist the Blame Game: Avoid blaming yourself for the ghosting. Remember, you are not responsible for someone else’s actions or choices. Ghosting is often a reflection of the other person’s issues, insecurities, or communication challenges.
  3. Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your well-being. Engage in hobbies you love, practice mindfulness, exercise, and spend time with people who appreciate and support you. Focus on rebuilding your confidence and resilience.
  4. Create Closure: While you may never receive the closure you desire from the person who ghosted you, you can create your own closure. Reflect on the situation, acknowledge any lessons learned, and remind yourself that you deserve better.
  5. Keep an Open Mind: As you heal from the ghosting experience, remain open to new connections. Not everyone will ghost you. There are genuine people out there who value communication and emotional connection.

Remember, ghosting says more about the person who ghosts than it does about you. It’s an unfortunate trend in our digital age, but it doesn’t define your worth or your future relationships. Surround yourself with positivity, practice self-compassion, and keep your heart open to the possibilities that lie ahead. The right person will show up, and they won’t vanish into thin air.