Show me who you attract and I’ll tell you who you are

One of the reasons that I was thrilled to visit Florence was to book my ticket for Galleria Uffizi. As we were toured by one art historian, one thing that is still engraved in my mind is when she was explaining to us Botticelli’s “The Birth of Venus” masterpiece. More specifically, what she told us was that Venus’ face and body were inspired by his muse Simonetta Vespucci. If you take a better look at Simonetta’s features they do not reflect the “perfect” ratio, yet she was considered one of the most beautiful women at that time due to her being attractive. 

Even though as a society we interchangeably use the terms beauty and attraction, they mean something different. If we were to identify the differences between attraction and beauty, we would realize that beauty is something static that is based on an image, whereas attraction is fluid and may not necessarily be based on a visual/auditory medium. In other words, attraction is rather a mental procedure.

We tend to be naturally attracted to someone who is fun and interesting to us and at the same time can provide us with a safe space to be ourselves and be accepted for who we are. However, this is not set in stone. As Dr. Rossi explains, the first man and woman who were attracted to one another did not wake up, saw each other, and fell in love. But rather at least one of them was in a state of attraction which made the other person be attracted. What he meant is that we can also be attracted to another individual if the other person is already attracted to us, since attraction can develop. 

Therefore, what we are truly seeking in others is not necessarily to be beautiful, but attractive to us. In order to magnetize or be magnetized by an attractive person, it all starts with you. Inevitably, the only way to have the life you want, you have to build the self you want. By calibrating your self-identity and knowing what you want, you end up attracting the people who have a place at your side.